twenty seventeen [in review]


I'm probably going to miss 2017 forever. for a while, I fought that; it seemed like holding on too tightly. but 2017 will forever be the year of nineteen, always barefoot with messy hair and filled with so much living. I'm going to miss it forever because I will never experience a year like it. and 2017 is a year worth grieving because it was so good. so hard, and yet, so beautiful. my word for the year was dependence, and although I fought it when I first knew it was going to be a theme in 2017; it is the perfect banner over this year. 2017 was the year I found grace beyond my wildest imaginings and joy became an anchor. the joy of the Lord is my strength. and my song. I will forever be immensely grateful for 2017 and all that it held: the challenges, the laughter, the broken, the freedom. 

JANUARY: was the month that stirred waters and opened doors. on the january 3, I said yes to a management position of a campus kitchen and three days later: hopped on a flight to Washington to be apart of a leadership meeting for Delight & Be and visit my forever kindred spirit (as Anne would always say). those nine days were filled with adventure: from mass winter storms and being delayed in portland for an extra 2 days, to late nights filled with laughter and Emily running barefoot out of the house to get snow to make snow ice-cream. I got to explore Bellingham and northern Washington with my bestie and we drove for miles in the mountains, rambled through bookstores and drank copious amounts of coffee and hit up coffee shops like it was going out of style. I got to cross the border into Canada for the first time and a darling little oceanfront town made for a great adventure.
returning home came with lists and phone calls and walking around grocery stores, recording prices and working out budgets and building menus. and the start of the real adventure of 2017. que a few butterflies and a minor freaking out wondering what in the world I had signed up for. 

it sounded like: Only Jesus by Brian & Jenn Johnson 

FEBRUARY: was filled with learning, making mistakes, late nights and early mornings. it was belly laughing every day and still attempting to be two places at once. it was the kick-off of the winter spring semester which meant new crews and more people to love, more people to feed. it was a day celebrating nineteen and being reminded what a blessing it is to be surrounded by beautiful people who bring you coffee and sing happy birthday multiple times, even when those are the 2 most guaranteed awkward minutes of the year and they become multiplied. Day by day began to reveal why dependence was the banner over this year. february deepened my love for coffee and real talk: the #momlife began.

it sounded like: Always Enough - Kari Jobe

MARCH: was learning how to cling to the faithful One. It was hours spent in the kitchen with my girls. it was laughter upon laughter and awkward stories every day. learning things the hard way, learning what it means to love and lead and serve and never loose joy. It was spring days that called to be spent barefoot, long talks in bathroom stalls and out by the dumpster, and sharing pizza on sidewalk curbs. It was Wednesday afternoons, laughing harder and turning the music up a bit louder as we flipped pancakes and french toast for dinner. 

it sounded like: Mention of Your Name - Jenn Johnson

APRIL: was full of spring and life and laughter. It was more late nights and an endless list of awkward moments in grocery stores. It was heading to Washington to find another kitchen to share love from for the weekend. those four days included far more than cooking, from kitchen floor ice cream escapades (#realrawrelevant at it's finest), to mopping up septic water and cleaning bathrooms (more adventures), to finding freedom in new places and beautiful times of worship together. April was cherishing the small moments remaining. It was extra hugs and extra tears. but so much grateful. 

it sounded like: More Than Conquerors - Rend Collective  

MAY: was for rest and rejuvenation and three of the biggest events to add to the records. 170 people, 150 people, and 180 people. all of that equaled SO MUCH FOOD. Happy days filled with the most beautiful pinapples (and apparently I have a deep love that is only evoked when pineapples in the highest quality appear) and seeing dear friends again and remembering the "good old times" and how much we laughed and realizing how many rules we broke. whoops. May brought catering my first wedding and a cherished week of lazy mornings. #allthepraisehands. 
I now alternately respond to: the bagel lady, mom

it sounded like: Oh Praise the Name (Anastasia) - Shane & Shane

JUNE: brought life with an amplifier. Everything became more. Our summer semester began and 120 people filled the tables. It was catching every possible moment for solitude, which mostly appeared as kitchen floors after hours (oh wait, there were hours?) and surviving on french fry runs, multiple cups of coffee, and a crew of the best of friends. Flexibility became the only option and the more it was chosen, the more it became needed. June taught me how to roll with the punches, no matter how fast they came. And to never say "no" to coffee. You'll always need it later. 

it sounded like: The War is Over - Josh Baldwin

JULY: was 4th of July fireworks, that basically lasted every day of the month. It was constant challenges and learning how to never let the thousand grocery bags it felt like I was carrying, drop. And yet- it held more love and the community of good people than one heart deserves. July taught me how to use a butter knife as a chisel and blowdryer at 11pm on a Wednesday night and to always have a good cup of iced coffee near by, in gallon jugs #notkidding. It was taking 30 minutes off to go get free slurpees at 7/11 on july 11th with the gang. Celebrating Christmas in July with Christmas cookies, hot chocolate, food-themed carols and a Christmas dinner rap that should probably never see the light of day again. 

I still get a headache remembering everything that broke that month, and always at the worst possible time. story time: the fridge broke down one day, the air conditioner struggled every day and working temps were +100*. Then the power in both locations went out the next day, plan B for lunch was established and route C for dinner was taken. A flight was waiting- prayer and trust that "everything will be fine for the next 48 hours" was the only option given. In those 24 hours, 
I learned prayer and trust are always worth it and seeing a dear roommate say "I do" to a man who loves her so well will show you love. a love that always protects. always trusts. always hopes. always preserves. and never fails. 

and in the end, July taught me that I will always have a choice. to choose joy and see the ways He's working all things for good, even in the middle of the storm, or to choose to be overwhelmed and look at the waves that seem to be multiplying.

 🌻 from a journal entry: "He is faithful. It's the essence of who He is and I get to walk in that, every day. so, as a result: life is good. He is good.

it sounded like: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus (Look Up) - Nicole Nordeman 

AUGUST: has double the amount of photographs because August was the month double the living. or basically the equivalent of 3 full months packed into one. let's just say, August was one for the books, in the best way. 

It was spent celebrating, with open hands, the sufficiency of a grace beyond imaginings. Sufficient when events got changed last minute and 4 prep days were lost (and probably along with it, any remaining sanity). Sufficient on days when the laptop holding the chains that made the wheels go around refuses to powering on. Sufficient on days when system errors happen and truck orders show up wrong, or you know- sometimes not at all. Sufficient for days of summer head colds and a traveling mountain of kleenex, emergen-c and essentials oils (not a sponsored plug but probably should have been because they were well loved). 

August held a heart so full, it overflowed every day, and yet carried an ache of goodbye to so many people I never wanted to have to say goodbye to. In those final sun-splashed days, we laughed and laughed, ate too much leftover fondue, made memories like they were going out of style, and were ever so grateful for what there was left- even if it was only a few more days.  It was "the end" of an era. To say "grace was enough" is most likely the understatement of the year because the reality of this summer was- grace abounded. I will never ever have enough words for August. 
even so, it is well.

🌿 from a journal entry: "He will not take me down a path where He is not present. He is steadfast and His love is sure.

it sounded like: Rescuer (good news) - Rend Collective  &  Until Your Will Is Done - Ed Cash

SEPTEMBER: was finding a new normal. September 1st was the end of the end day: the kitchen was cleaned top to bottom, keys turned in, boxes packed. Two days later, I moved out of the first place on a lease with my name and said goodbye to the dear people who filled little Fairfield cottage with love and lots of music. It was back home with my family for a few weeks before packing up Parker (my car) and driving nineteen hours to a new little house, a new house, a new community. It was a week long Delight leadership meeting with 4 incredible women. women who inspire me and make me laugh until I feel like I continually can't breathe. it was adjusting: waking up and not thinking about how many boxes of bananas and gallons of milk existed

it sounded like: Whatever Comes - Rend Collective

OCTOBER: is always one of my favorite months. it brought deep breaths and french press coffee in the morning with the mountains and orchards looking on. it was sleeping with six pillows and quiet evenings with a book and cups of tea. it was full of meeting new people and making awkward small talk but realizing that soon there won't have to be small talk because the new faces will be known as friends. October brought the pumpkin spice lattes (because the bakery down the road actually served a satisfactory pumpkin spice latte) and learning that it's okay to grow slow, that each deep breath is a gift, and that He is always pursuing the broken

🍁 from a journal entry: I’ve been brought to a fresh place of seeking the Lord. and the two words He has pressed into my heart are: deeply rooted. so, this month, I’m soaking that in. I am grateful for a season with space to intentionally grow in. to be deeply rooted in His love. deeply grounded in His goodness. clinging to His faithfulness. and dwelling in His Word, in person + in text.

it sounded like: In The Whisper - Christy Nockels

NOVEMBER: was wrapping up the last of the [be intentional] workshop, which meant having a house full of the sweetest friends, seeking Jesus and what it means to live purpose-filled lives. it taught me how to live as a daughter of the Father, to live from in favor instead of living for His favor. it was claiming what has already been purchased. bought. signed, sealed, delivered. it was quiet days with my Sav and songs on repeat. November brought the dream of a Delight & Be's magazine to life, and it came with mailers, stickers, stamps and post office runs. And my words in print, talking about  digging into the Word and talking about the heart of the Father when we seek Him. 

it sounded like: Hidden -  United Pursuit ft. Will Reagan

DECEMBER: was roadtrips all around eastern washington state and sitting on gym bleachers watching basketball games. it was discovering I actually liked basketball, using a basketball emoji for the first time in my life and finding out I'm actually a little invested. it was cancelled flights, but finally getting to sing "I'll be home for Christmas" and putting my feet back on colorado soil and soaking up every sunset. it was christmas music, marble games, and settlers of catan. it was seeing old friends and spending time with the fam and walking in all my "old haunts" as Anne would say. december taught me it's okay to mourn the loss of that which brought so much living- the heart achingly full type of living- and that it's good to remember, to cherish, to hold it all with open hands and yet not let it slip through your fingers. 

it sounded like: All That Is To Come - Christy Nockels

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and now. 2018
there are new beginnings ahead, new adventures to find, new hearts to love deeply, old hearts to cherish just as deeply, the same steadfast Love to dwell in, and the same Truth to speak. He is faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.  (2 timothy 2:13)

- marcia


although it has taken a long time for me to find it, there is beauty in this place sometimes. 
and while there is beauty in the waiting, let's remember to not forget the grace of living. 

“ I have always, essentially, been waiting. Waiting to become something else, waiting to be that person I always thought I was on the verge of becoming, waiting for that life I thought I would have. In my head, I was always one step away. In high school, I was biding my time until I could become the college version of myself, the one my mind could see so clearly. In college, the post-college “adult” person was always looming in front of me, smarter, stronger, more organized. Then the married person, then the person I’d become when we have kids. For twenty years, literally, I have waited to become the thin version of myself, because that’s when life will really begin.And through all that waiting, here I am. My life is passing, day by day, and I am waiting for it to start. I am waiting for that time, that person, that event when my life will finally begin... Life is a collection of a million, billion moments, tiny little moments and choices, like a handful of luminous, glowing pearl. It takes so much time, and so much work, and those beads and moments are so small, and so much less fabulous and dramatic than the movies. But this is what I’m finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way. That thing I’m waiting for, that adventure, that move-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets – this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of use will ever experience. ” 
- Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines

DELIGHT & BE | washington + all it's adventures


JULY  3 - 13,  2016

If you would have told me last year that I would have been flying to Washington for the fourth time in a little over a year, I wouldn't have believed you. but July marked the fourth time and I know it has been Jesus every single time, because each of those four times has been some of the most powerful days in my entire life. It was late one night when I saw the message asking if I'd be willing to come as soon as possible to Washington for two weeks to cook for some of the most precious girls on the planet, alongside some of my favorite women. Another reason I know it was Jesus because out of this entire summer, those were the only two weeks that were entirely open in my schedule. So I said "yes", bought a ticket the next day, and three days later- I was hugging sweet friends in the Seattle airport. 

I know I have talked about Delight and Be a lot over the past three and a half years and yet, in those 10 days in Washington, I've seen even a bigger picture of how God is using this ministry and working and moving in the hearts and lives of His daughters. Delight is an online community that is awesome and honestly has changed my life, but the workshops at the Delight House and the retreats... those are where that community becomes tangible. It becomes a community of action and investment. And now I've seen the way community builds and conquers together and how we are the Body of Christ, bonded together by the adoption as daughters (Galatians 4:5) and being able to love and serve each other. We have become each other's home team, each other's biggest cheerleaders, and each other's Truth-speakers. 

Our days together were some of the fullest and most beautiful. Delight brings strangers together who soon become friends and then become sisters. We all cried a lot (#passthetish) and hugged a lot. We spilled our hearts out over coffee cups, pillows, fuzzy blankets and living room floors. We worshipped together and prayed together. And I have witnessed the absolute truth of 2 Corinthians 3:17 when it says "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." I think we all found freedom on new and deeper levels because the Holy Spirit was present. I watched hearts come alive in the presence of our Jesus and witnessed the way He has marked their lives with His faithfulness in just the past few months.  We learned to dig deep into the Word and shut off the noise. Hours were spent around the big farm table and on kitchen countertops, sharing hearts and life stories and some (really) awkward moments. And we spent our late nights drinking too much coffee and laughing until it physically hurt to breathe. and #delightandbemoved was birthed. 
During the Be Still Workshop, Anna Filly taught us the difference between strive and drive. Of how we are called to be women, driven by the pursuit of Him, and not striving in our own pursuit of perfection. Emily taught us how to get deep in the Word and talked about getting caught up in the busy and the doing when our value isn't based on what we create or accomplish- our value is found in Jesus. He has already declared His work sufficient. and Heather got really practical and told us just to stop for 5 minutes and breath deeply and meditate on Him. We spent one evening just going around the circle praying for each other and Jesus showed up. Chains were broken, struggles and fear confessed, hearts were shared, and voices were equipped with courage and boldness to share their story of how grace stepped in. We wrote Scripture on the basement walls and practiced hearing from the Lord and speaking words of life and hope and promise over each other lives. It was truly a time of just sitting with Jesus and loving each other! 

I think the most beautiful thing is how we learned to crave stillness and His presence and how that became more important than our hopes and dreams, and even photography. Creating art is simply an outflow of worship from time spent in stillness with Him. And ya'll, the amount of talent that was in that house for both of these workshops was insaneeee. These girls are rocking and they are going incredible places. (seriously prepare to see their work in magazines) and yet, each of them decided that pursuing the heart of Jesus was more important than pursuing their business. Not that pursuing photography and business isn't important, but that Jesus is more. infinitely more. 
J E S U S  I S  I N F I N I T E L Y  M O R E . 
Oh man, my heart is just so full even writing about our time together. If you want to know more about Delight or if you are a creative between the ages of 16-22 and would like to join the online group, you can hop on over to the website and join us! or follow us on instagram @delightandbe

- marcia

let's get real- we have a faithful God.

this space was a bit vacant during the month of January. and it's not because I haven't tried writing or didn't have time or forgot- I've clicked the "new post" button so many times and have started writing only to  hold down the "delete" button until the page is empty and the little curser is blinking. and I guess the reason why it's so hard to write is because I'm simply not ready. my heart feels like my blogger dashboard- with 4 published posts and 11 drafts. I don't know if it's fear or if it's just hesitation, but God's been going deep and a lot of things are still in the "drafts" stage.

but I will write about one thing I know is true, my Jesus. in January, I have seen Him more clearly and grown to trust him more deeply and yet my heart cry is "oh, for grace to trust Him more." January started out wrestling; it was struggling. I was a Jacob wresting in the night and saying "I will not let you go." and the one line that kept running through my head is "we are free to struggle, but we aren't struggling to be free." that was it. I wasn't struggling to be free, but I was free to struggle until I found my way back to the feet of Jesus. 

at the beginning of the month, I read an extremely powerful blog post and one thing that has been continually running around in my head since that is "the struggle is real, but the victory is won." the struggle isn't fun, but it's real and but we must remember the victory has already been won and come back to throne of Grace. just a disclaimer here: I don't like the unknown. I like my schedules and knowing plans ahead of time.  I'm not really a huge fan of change. but I stepped out in an unknown four months ago, and I've been wrestling to find peace and contentment in this season. it's strange how it works, but life has a way of keeping you busy, even when it's suppose to be a quieter season. real talk here- my days were being filled, but it felt like I wasn't doing anything. and I hated that. things that I had thought about pursuing hadn't been falling into place and everything had pros and cons and in praying about where and what the Lord had in mind- I didn't find peace about any direction. but, then I let go. it took a few days and after pages in my journal had been filled and tears had been spilled and my hands had been opened, I was back at the cross. laying down my plans in surrender and back in the position of trusting. I hadn't really realized it before, but it is so easy to slip out of that position of trust and surrender if it isn't a daily reckoning and daily taking up your cross. 

and, my heart was at peace. I know my Jesus and I know who He has declared Himself to be. I know that He is faithful and His goodness endures forever. He only does wondrous things and every good thing is from Him. 
"and I will trust, here in the mystery. I will trust in you completely." (x)
and the crazy wild thing is- He loves to prove Himself faithful, to reveal Himself steadfast and trustworthy, even in my shaking. and sometimes He loves to do that in less than 24 hoursHe showed up with plans He had all along, in the timing He has known all along. and now i'm five days in and realizing more and more of the same thing-

and I will literally write it over and over and over- He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful. He is faithful. 
He is faithful. 
xoxo. -marcia